Team COME
by THE BLIND KING
Summary: Cinder gets a new ally with a unique semblance. This new guy soon makes Cinder question everything.
1. Chapter 1: Best Laid Plans

AN: I own nothing

"Why is he here?" "To assist you why else." Cinder looked at the new recruit Salem had brought in. "So what can he do that the rest of them can't?" "He has a unique semblance that far surpasses even the maiden's powers." "What kind of power?" "The power to put up with everyone else's shit because I sure as hell am done putting up with it now get the fuck out of here." Cinder left Salem alone. What kind of semblance is that? That doesn't surpass a maiden's powers. "Sup." "Sup?" "What you've never met people before?" "I've met assholes before." "So you must be Cinder well allow me to introduce myself..." "I don't care who you are." "My name is Onyx." "And he tells me anyway." "Of course that's not my real name just an alias." "Then why even bother... You know what forget it let's just go." Cinder took the teen back with her to Beacon. Neo would have to be alone for a while since Roman got himself captured, and she needed to have as many assets available to her. Onyx would be an extra addition to her team. Now instead of Team CEMN (I just call it cement, or semen.) they would now be Team COME (Which sounds weird and dirty out of context, but it's totally supposed to be like that.) which sounds wrong now that she thought about it. "So seeing as how the two of us will be working together mind telling me about yourself Onyx." "Let me see I have many likes and dislikes." He is going to be a handful. "Well what kinds of things do you like?" "Stuff." "Stuff?" "Yeah stuff." "Well what kinds of stuff?" "Many kinds of stuff." "I see."

Cinder already hated the guy and with good reason, he was a condescending asshole. The two of them finally reached Beacon. "So Cinder who's the new guy?" "Emerald, Mercury this is Onyx he will be helping us with the plan." "So what can he do?" "Well Mercury I can put up with anyone's shit." "What?" "Yeah that's my semblance the ability to put up with anyone's shit no matter how much shit you put me through I can take it." "Right." "So Cinder what's this famous plan Salem tells me you've been working on." "Well here take a look." Onyx started looking over Cinder's plans. "Do you want my honest opinion on this plan?" Cinder knew the plan was perfect in every single way. She had contingencies in place and back ups for any little incident. Maybe he can't understand the complexity of the plan. "Sure why not." "It's shit." "WHAT!?" "It's shit." Emerald and Mercury quickly exited the room and closed the door. "What part of my plan is shit?" "All of it the whole thing." "What?" "Yeah it's shit." "Okay explain yourself." "Where do I begin?" "How about the beginning?" "Okay. So why did you have to be friends with everyone?" "To make it easier to blend in." "But aren't we going to kill them anyway? What's the point in befriending them? We could have just acted as enemies since the beginning since we are competing against one another anyways. Haven't you seen how some of the teams treat each other?" He had a point Cinder had seen how some teams pushed around others. "And if you say it's to get intel couldn't you have hacked into the school's mainframe and obtained the student records or something also." Cinder didn't think about that. "That way you wouldn't have to be buddy buddy with the enemy. What if they had discovered you?" Okay maybe she hadn't thought about that.

"Well let's move ahead. Here is the real problem. How can you guys control the Grimm, the Fang, and the robots without them killing each other?" "I uhh..." Okay so maybe Cinder hadn't worked out how to make sure the Grimm, robots, and the fang wouldn't kill each other, but it would workout... somehow. "And if you hacked the robots this way wouldn't Atlas develop countermeasures afterwards to ensure that it wouldn't happen again?" Fair point. "And the whole busting Roman out and letting him control the ship is too stupid." "How so?" "Well Neo is all by herself up there so wouldn't they have somebody capable to take her on? Not to mention that the Grimm will tear down his ship along with all the rest, and the Atlesian military will shoot down his ship the moment Roman opens fire on the." Okay so maybe Cinder needed to rethink this. "And what's the whole deal with uploading the video are you trying to go viral and become an overnight sensation. You aren't a fucking celebrity Cinder you are a nutcase." Okay that's pushing it too far. "But the thing that really boggles my mind is why not just grab the maiden while everyone is asleep?"

"Huh? Why haven't I grabbed the maiden?" Cinder kept thinking sure the plan to destroy Beacon was part of Salem, but why not just get the maiden and destroy Beacon later? Emerald and Mercury walked in thinking that Cinder would smear the walls with Onyx. "Hey you are still alive." "Well no shit of course I'm alive." Emerald was annoyed at his response. "So majesty what now?" "Well we grab the maiden and go tonight." "WHAT!?" Cinder and the rest made a beeline for the maiden when the chance finally came up. They were able to successfully grab her and leave without setting any alarms or alerting anyone of their intentions. "Huh?" "What's the matter Cinder?" "It just doesn't feel the same you know." "Well how could we know its not like we are the ones with new super powers." "Its just that I feel kind of disappointed with the turnout is all." "Well too bad because you will have to explain to Adam why he can't destroy Beacon." "WHAT why do I have to be the one?" "Because the only reason why you wanted to storm Beacon was to get superpowers or whatever the fuck." "Ugh fine give me the phone."

"Hey Adam listen there's been a..." Cinder paused for a moment. "What do you mean you already stormed Beacon?" Cinder looked at Emerald. "Turn on the tv." "In recent news the White Fang has begun attacking Beacon Academy. The White Fang, under the command of Adam Taurus, have laid siege leaving destruction in their wake. We now go live to Cyril who is interviewing Taurus." Then they saw Adam talking to the reporter. "Yes thanks Averia. Mr. Taurus why did you decide to storm Beacon?" "To achieve faunus equality." "By killing innocent men women and children not to mention that some of them are faunus as well." "I uhh..." "Mr. Taurus how do you respond to the fact that some people claim that you are not really a faunus, but simply a human claiming to be a faunus?" "I'am a faunus." "Yet you have no tail, horns, weird looking ears, or anything to back your claims." "I uhh... This interview is over." Then Adam continued fighting a losing battle. "Well there you have it Averia. The White Fang are clearly being led by a lunatic back to you Averia." "Thanks Cyril. In other news pure bred dogs, and why they are freaks of nature." Mercury was the first to speak. "HOLY CRAP!" Then Onyx started talking. "I know pure bred dogs look so beautiful there is no way that can be right." Cinder the turned to Onyx. "Really that's what worries you?" "Well yeah why wouldn't it?" "Ugh never mind I'm turning in for the night."

AN: This will be a series of one shots. Will update irregularly with whatever I come up with.


	2. Part of a friends and family plan

AN: I own nothing.

"So the plan is to trap them around here and..." Cinder noticed Onyx texting on his scroll... again while she was briefing her team... again. "Onyx?" "Yep hold on just a second and send. What's up?" "Why do you always text while I'm briefing?" "Well because how else will me and Ruby keep in contact?" HE WAS TEXTING WITH THE ENEMY THE ENTIRE TIME!? "ARE YOU SERIOUS!?" "Well yeah of course why wouldn't I be?" "Does this mean that you also told her of our plans?" "Yeah." I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM! "It's part of a friends and family plan see." Cinder looked at Onyx's contacts. She read them in order he had Salem obviously, Neo, Ruby the little pain in the ass, and someone called Raven. "Yeah I had to switch it because the plan that you have us working on is pretty shitty." "It's all the same Onyx." "No it's not. With this plan I have no data cap, and free messaging to anyone in my top five." "Are you trying to sell me into a different company?" "I'm trying to tell you to stop being cheap with these scroll plans." "It's all we can afford right now." "Sure." Onyx then asked Cinder the most important question of her life. "Do you have Salem as your number one?" "No I don't." "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU DO IT NOW BEFORE SHE FUCKING FINDS OUT AND KILLS YOUR SORRY ASS!" "Why?" "Cinder you clearly haven't known Salem all that long here let me show you." Onyx took Cinder to meet some other nameless lackeys in the warehouse.

"Okay hey everyone." Onyx called everyone's attention. "Who here has Salem as number one in there contacts and emergency contacts please raise your hands." Then everyone in a single instant raised their hands. "You see." "I'm sure she has more important things to worry about." "Well Cinder I just hope that Salem never finds out." "That I won't find out about what?" Both turned to see Salem enter the warehouse. "Cinder doesn't have you in her top contacts or emergency contacts bye." Onyx ran as far away as humanly possible. "Is it true?" "Yes." For a moment Cinder thought that Salem would not focus on something so petty as being number one in her contacts. Salem then froze Cinder's feet in place. "Salem what the..." Salem began slapping Cinder across the face. "I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME!" Cinder couldn't move and she didn't dare to move. She was too afraid to figure out what Salem would do if she tried to escape. She stood there frozen in place taking a beating from Salem. Cinder couldn't take it anymore and finally Salem stopped. "Let this be a reminder should you step out of line again." "Ugh why me?" Salem left Cinder alone wallowing in pain and bruised up.

Onyx came back and helped her take out the ice that trapped her to the floor. "God my feet are cold." "Well you kind of had it coming." Cinder glared at Onyx, and the teen just ignored her. Huh I guess that must be his semblance. Finally she was free from the ice. "Now come on lets get you to a hospital to see about those wounds." Emerald soon joined them. "Can I go?" "Yeah I'm gonna need help drag Cinder over there." Onyx took both Cinder and Emerald to a nearby hospital. It would be difficult since everyone knew what they looked like, but apparently Onyx told them that he had someone who could take a look at Cinder inside. "Okay you guys wait here I'll go see if he is in." They both waited for a moment then Cinder turned to Emerald. "Do you have Salem as number one in your contacts Emerald?" "Of course I do I'm not stupid." Calm down Cinder it's just you and besides it's not like I can burn her alive at this point. "Followed by Mercury, and you." "MERCURY OVER ME!" "I text with him more than I do with you. You barely even answer my texts." "Well I'm always busy planning and what not." "Doesn't mean you can't take a break every once in a while and say hi." "This is unfuckingbelievable." "Who's number one in your contacts Cinder?" "Well it's Adam then Roman..." "The pedophile is number one are you serious?" "Emerald he's not a pedophile." "Could have fooled me."

Then they saw the 'doctor' come in. "Ah you must be Cinder right?" Cinder nodded. "Yes well Onyx told me everything well please step in. Cider saw that it was Onyx under that 'disguise'. All he put on was a white coat, and those fake glasses with a nose, mustache, and eyebrows on them. "So umm..." "Ah yes I'am Doctor Ripper please take a seat both of you I'm sure Onyx will join us shortly." "Right." "So it seems you did not have Salem as number one in your contacts well this happens a lot so just give me your scroll." "Here you go." The 'doctor' pushed some buttons on Cinder's scroll and handed it back to her. "Here all done now it shouldn't happen again." "THAT'S IT!" "Well yeah I mean Onyx said that you didn't have her as number one in your contacts which reminds me here you go." He handed cinder a clipboard with some papers on it, and a pen. "Just fill this part out here with your insurance information, oh and don't forget to put Salem as your emergency contacts." I swear when I see Onyx again... "Here all done now about my injuries..." "Ooh I'm sorry, but your insurance plan doesn't cover it." "Okay Onyx that's too far." "Excuse me?" "You can take the fake glasses Onyx we know it's you." "What are you..." "I SAID TAKE IT OFF DAMNIT!"

Cinder and Emerald jumped the doctor and tried to take off his fake glasses. Then the door opened and in walked Onyx with some yogurt. "Hey Cinder I thought you would like some... What's going on?" "You... But he... But you..." "Onyx get these two the hell away from me." Onyx got Emerald and Cinder away from the doctor. "What the hell is the matter with you two?" Emerald then spoke. "We thought he was you." "Huh?" "Well it's just that... He..." "Can the three of you please get out." "Yeah let's go." The three exited the hospital and began walking back to their base. Then they made it inside. "I can't believe you guys thought he was me." "We're sorry." "Yeah well anyways Cinder, Salem said she wanted to talk to you about something." "I'll go see her right away." Cinder made her way to Salem immediately. She knocked on the door. "Come in." "Onyx said you wanted to see me." "Yes I did." "So what happened did Roman..." "Nothing like that quite the contrary... Let me see your scroll." Cinder handed Salem her scroll. "Good looks like you've learned your lesson. Am I right to assume you also listed me in your emergency contacts?" Cinder quickly shook her head. "Good." "Uhh Salem?" "Yes?" "Am I in your emergency contacts or top five?" "Don't push it." "Right sorry."

Cinder headed back down stairs. "So how'd it go?" She looked at Onyx. "About as good as you'd expect." Onyx then handed her the yogurt. She grabbed it and took a spoonful only to see that there was none left. "It's empty." Onyx then smiled at her. "Yeah it is." She then threw the cup and spoon at his face. "I'm going to bed."

AN: Well here is the second chapter. Will accept a request to whoever can figure out the yogurt reference without looking it up on Google.


	3. Chapter 3 Terminator in Space

AN: I own nothing.

"So Onyx what are you watching?" Cinder looked at Onyx who was watching something on the tv. "Star Wars." "Star Wars?" "Yeah more specifically Episode IV A New Hope. I'm in the part where they are escaping the Death Star." "Do you like it?" "I don't feel one way or the other about it." Cinder had made an 'effort' to get to know the guy, but to no avail. It also didn't help that he always responded the same way to anything. "Cinder why don't you sit with me?" That was odd he never invited her to do anything. Which in Cinder's books was okay, the last thing she needed was another asshole trying to get a date with her. "Why?" "Come on I need you to see this." "Okay..." Cinder sat down and watched the scene where this old guy was surrendering to the one dressed in black. Then it panned over to a young man who turned to look at them both. And finally the old man surrendered and was decapitated. Then the young man aimed his rifle in the guy with the red sword's direction and began shooting. Then Onyx turned off the tv. He slowly turned to look at her, and Cinder was a bit creeped out by the way he just stared at her. "Notice any resemblance." "I don't know what you are talking about." She lied, she knew exactly what he was talking about. The symmetry between both events was almost staggering to say the least.

"Really you don't remember being in that exact same situation just a while ago?" Cinder had an image to protect if people knew that she was into Star Wars it would be the end for her. If she were completely honest to herself whenever she saw a chance to re-enact a scene in real life she took it. That's why out of all the groups she hired the White Fang, since they resembled stormtroopers in a way. They both wear white, and look evil enough so yeah she figured why not even better right? Too bad she couldn't fill in the role of Emperor or Vader, but at least whenever she used her powers she had a little fun because she could also move objects to a certain degree. At least she had Anakin's yellow eyes, and she was evil. She sucked using a sword, so she made do with obtaining a red dress. It also helped that Adam had a mask and a red sword, so she could pretend that she was the Emperor. Plus both the Emperor and her had yellow eyes, which she fantasized about, but back to the topic at hand. "Really?" "Yes really." "So when you killed Pyrrha and Ruby showed up it didn't remind you of that scene?" "No." Then Cinder got up and left Onyx alone. Then she headed to her room. No one had ever been to Cinder's room, not even Salem. The entire room was littered with posters of Star Wars, and memorabilia.

Then she looked at her poster of Ewan McGregor from Episode 3. "Soon very soon my darling." Then she heard a knock on her door. "Who is it?" "It's Onyx a package came here for you." Ah shit hopefully he hasn't opened it. She opened the door slightly to see Onyx standing next to the package. "So what is it anyways?" "That is none of your concern." "Okay but I need you to sign this for the mailman." She signed the papers and Onyx left to give the papers over to the mailman. In a quick display of speed Cinder opened up the large box. When she looked at it she was amazed by how realistic it was. She had obtained a life-size replica of BB-8 from Star Wars Episode VII The Force Awakens. "Hmm it was really close, but I managed to beat SkywalkerFan43. Better luck next time jackass."

Meanwhile at Atlas

"FUCK THAT BITCH BEAT ME AGAIN!" "Uhh General Ironwood sir?" "That bitch that calls herself SithEmpress17 beat me again." "Uhh sir weren't we gonna use that money to rebuild Penny?" "Do you really think that we have the budget for that?" Winter did not want to answer with; If you didn't blow it all on Star Wars memorabilia then yeah we would, but he was her superior officer. "I guess you are right sir." "Do you know why half my body is robotic Schnee?" "Is it because you somehow identify with Anakin Skywalker sir?" "Correct." "Honestly sir what's so great about Star Wars?" "Schnee have you seen the entire series?" She walked right into that one didn't she? "No sir I haven't." "Well I order you to watch the entire series and give me a full report." Fuck me. "Yes sir."

Back to Onyx

"Oh hey Neo I haven't seen you at all since I got here." Neo held up a sign. "I can't believe Salem hired you. So what do I call you?" "Call me Onyx." Then she pulled out another sign. "Okay." "So Neo?" "Yeah." "Has Cinder ever let anyone up to her room?" "No, not even Salem." "Wow are you serious?" "Yes." "Why?" "I can't tell you." "How much?" Then Neo pulled out another sign with dots on it. "..." Then Neo pulled out a different sign. "One favor." "Alright." "She is a Star Wars fangirl." "That's it?" "Let me show you." Then both of them walked over to Cinder's room. Neo picked the lock and opened the door. Then they saw Cinder make out with the poster of Ewan McGregor. "What the fuck?" Cinder came to her senses and looked at both of them. "You aren't supposed to be in here." "Holy crap it's liked I walked inside George Lucas' asshole, and inside his asshole there is Star Wars memorabilia." "I can explain." "Cinder there is no way that you can explain any of this." Cinder just stood there embarrassed, besides being caught in the act of kissing the poster people now knew her secret. "Wait is that why you killed Pyrrha the way you did? To fulfill some Star Wars fantasy?" "Yes." "Woah... Umm so we are just gonna walk away now..." "I don't think so." "Huh?" "Who was it?" Onyx then pointed at Neo. Neo pulled out a sign. "Traitor." "Why did you have to show him Neo?"

Neo just stood there for a while then pulled out another sign. "You made me dress up as JAR JAR BINKS YOU BITCH!" "Well I wasn't going to dress up as him." "You dressed up as The Emperor. I wanted to be an Ewok. And also..." Then Neo pulled out two signs. One of them had the Federation symbol. "STAR TREK ALL THE WAY BITCH! GOD SAVE LEONARD NIMOY!" "YOU LITTLE TASTELESS ICE CREAM COLORED LITTLE SHIT!" Cinder didn't dare use her powers in her own room for fear of destroying anything of value. They both began to wrestle in the floor. Onyx stood there looking around the room ignoring the fight. Then he looked at them they were both clearly going to kill each other. "Okay break it up, nreak it up." "So Onyx which is better Star Wars or Star Trek?" "Isn't it obvious? Battlestar Galactica bitches." "WHY!?" "It's like Terminator in space. Now I'm gonna go, and whilst I will admit that I wanted to crack some jokes I can't this is just too much." Then there was a pause. "I will say this though... THANK GOD YOU KILLED PYRRHA." "Really?" "Yeah when she was going on and on about destiny she was becoming so unbearable, so thanks for that... Well I'll leave you to it." With that Onyx left Neo and Cinder quarreling about the best Sci-Fi franchise to have ever existed.

AN: Don't tell me that scene when Cinder killed Pyrrha didn't remind you of Star Wars.


	4. Chapter 4 Stuff

AN: I own nothing.

Blake looked at the situation she was in, and it didn't look good. She had gotten herself captured by the enemy during the battle. She looked at the person in front of her the same person that she used to call 'friend'. "Where are they?" "As if I would tell you." Cinder was beginning to lose her patience with the girl. "Alright that's it." "What are you..." Blake began to feel a burning sensation throughout her body. Then it got hotter and hotter until finally... "I'm afraid I'm going to have to stop you right there." Onyx walked into the interrogation room. "What do you want?" "I need to borrow her for just a little while." "Why?" "Because... Reasons." "Those being?" "Adam... Among other things." Cinder looked back at Blake. She didn't want to deal with this anymore let alone one of Onyx's shenanigans. "Fine suit yourself." Cinder left the room and left the two alone. "So Blake long time no see..." "What do you want?" "I want to know why you have stuff." "Huh?" "Stuff why do you have it?" That was a weird question to ask. Blake had no idea how to answer his question. "Because I like having stuff?" "Well no DUH everyone likes having stuff, but why do you have stuff?" "Uhh I'm lost... Where are you going with this?" "Oh it's just that Adam told me how you abandoned him in the train, and left for Beacon or something." "Well I uhh... Huh why do I have stuff?" "I don't know that's what I'm asking you for. Why do you have stuff?"

Blake kept repeating the incident over and over again. She only decided to leave the Fang on the train when Adam was ready to sacrifice the innocent engineers. She didn't take anything else with her besides her weapon and the clothes she had on. "You know I don't really know. I just went to Beacon, and suddenly I had... Stuff." "Well that doesn't make any fucking sense." "I don't know Onyx alright." "Calm down we just have to figure this out. Okay?" "Okay." Both of them started thinking really hard as to how it was possible why Blake suddenly had stuff waiting for her in Beacon. "Oh what if you uhh... Huh? Where did you live when you were with the White Fang?" "With Adam." "The pedophile?" "He's not... He's not a pedophile." "You uhh hesitated for a second there. Why is that?" "I don't wanna talk about it." "Blake did he do... Stuff... To you?" "Uhh I..." "HOLY SHIT! He is a pedophile." "He's not a pedophile he's just... Different you know?" "In what sense?" Blake tried to find a way to avoid his question. Then it dawned on her. "You know Onyx Ruby and Yang didn't have any... Stuff with them as soon as they got to Beacon. Neither did Jaune." "I KNEW IT!" Success now he won't question my relationship with Adam. "So back to you and Adam." AH SHIT! "Yes?" "How come you never wore the uniform?" "What do you mean?" "Well it's just that every other person that I've seen has always worn the uniform and mask. Except for you of course."

"That's not true there were others who also didn't wear the uniform." "Like who?" "Uhh..." Blake seemed at a loss she had no idea how to answer, and if people found out... "Off the top of my head Margie from Human Resources." "Blake there are no humans in the fang. And don't you mean Faunus Resources?" Damnit Belladonna rookie mistake. "Besides what kind of fucking name is Margie? Haven't you seen the names in this show they all represent some color or other mystical shit and fairy tales." He had a point. Blake knew that it was only a matter of time before they discovered her secret. "Onyx I can't tell you." "It's okay Blake you are in a safe space." Blake looked around the room there was blood, fingers, toes, and other things laying about. "Just ignore all the body parts." "Adam he uhh well you see he..." Then Adam bust into the room. "STOP RIGHT THERE!" Both of them turned to see Adam who had cut down the door with his sword. "You ever hear of knocking?" "She is mine Onyx." "No she isn't. She belongs to Sun Wukong until her character finally establishes herself as a strong independent woman." "HEY I'm a strong independent woman." "Blake please you are big fat pussy... It's okay I can use that word since you are part cat. Anyways where was I... Oh yes that's right you run away at the first sign of trouble, you are afraid of yourself and haven't accepted your faunus half which is why you hide with your bow, you lack any sort of character depth other than the fact that you are a generic broody girl from some harem anime, and... Velvet is a much better character despite the fact that she has way less screen time than you."

Tears were starting to form in Blake's eyes. "You really think so?" "Bitch please I know so." She really wanted to kill him now. He was right though she lacked any sort of character development. Damn you Rooster Teeth and your shitty ass writers! "But why is Velvet better than me?" "Oh that's easy." Both looked at him waiting for a follow up. "Oh uhh she is someone who represents the real struggle of being a faunus. Aside from the fact that she gets bullied a lot she never hits back because she recognizes that they do it out of ignorance. Besides if she hits back she is no better than the humans that keep harassing the faunus or her. Not to mention that she is better as a character because even though she is shy and timid she can really kick your ass." Blake was deeply satisfied because now no one would have to know. "So back to what you were saying about Adam." FUCK ME IN THE ASSHOLE WITH GAMBOL SHROUD! HE FUCKING REMEMBERED EVEN AFTER ALL THAT!? I CALL BULLSHIT! "Well I mpgh..." Adam covered her mouth with his hand. "I'm sorry Onyx, but I will be taking over the interrogation." "I suppose you can unless..." "Unless?" Adam did not like it when Onyx had the upper hand. "Unless someone were to tell Salem about the... Shall we say the 'extra expenditures'." Shit he knew and worst of all Blake was here if she found out...

"Adam what's he talking about?" "Eh... Uhh nothing just some extra stuff that I've spent my money on." "I guess that's one way of putting it." "Onyx what did you mean when you said 'extra expenditures'?" "Well Blake you see Adam here has..." "Okay fine... I'll go." "Good." Adam then left the room. "So Blake What. Did. He. Do. To. You?" There was no other way to avoid it he had answer his question. "Adam as you can imagine is... Peculiar." "Peculiar?" "Yes peculiar." "How so?" "Well he uhh how should I say this?" "Just be honest Blake that is all I ask." "Okay Adam he uhh... Has a... Fetish." There was a pause between the two. "TELL ME. TELL ME. TELL ME. C'MON WHAT IS IT I GOTS TO KNOW!" "He made me do... Stuff." "Is it the stuff that made him go stiff?" "Is that a sex joke?" "Sex joke and pun which I now realize is terrible... So what kind of stuff?" "He made me dress in a certain way." "In what way?" "He uhh..." This was it she was going to tell him. "He made me dress in a maid costume with fake cat ears." "That's it... Wait why the extra set of ears?" "Well I would wear the ears on top of my ears to make them more... Pronounced or noticeable." "Lame I was hoping for something more sexual to use against him." Onyx seemed at a loss as to what to do with the information. "Did you two do anything sexual?" "NO never." "What a huge disappointment... Well whatever."

"Wait Onyx what was that about extra expenditures?" "Oh Adam takes the new fang recruits on dinner dates." "That's it?" "Well they are always one on one. And it's always him and another girl. All underage go figure." "THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE!" "What?" "He only did that with me." Blake was furious to find out she wasn't special, or whatever the hell counts as special when you are a faunus. "When I find him I'm going to kill him." "Calm down I'm sure he reserves a special place in his heart for you." "Bullshit." "Don't you mean... Never mind doesn't work." Blake seemed really agitated now. "So Blake what are you gonna do now?" "Well I'm gonna fucking kill him what else?" "What's the big deal with him taking other girls to dinner dates anyways? Don't you have Sun?" "Well I uhh..." She did have Sun, but she kind of felt forced to be with him. "Can you get me out of here?" "Sure thing." Onyx then freed Blake. At that moment Cinder walked in. "Mind explaining me this." Cinder held up Blake's scroll with all her contacts. "What are you talking about?" "Why do you have Salem in your contacts?" "Well I'm not an idiot besides she's my number one." "See Cinder it's just you." Then Blake got her scroll and left.

"So what are we just gonna let her go?" "Relax Cinder at least this way she can lead us to her friends." Cinder was surprised she did not expect for Onyx to come up with such a scheme. "So I guess you do know what you are doing." "Was that a compliment?" "Don't push it." Then they heard a scream coming from outside. They both quickly exited the room and saw Blake beating the crap out of Adam. "You told me I was special." "Adam quickly retorted. "I said special not unique." "Oh c'mon Adam don't do that." Cinder turned to Onyx. "Really Onyx?" "It's like watching a public break up." "It's clearly her fault you know?" "Cinder let's not join in their discussion we have..." "SHE'S GOING TO STICK GAMBOL SHROUD UP MY... AGH IT FUCKING HURTS!" "Okay now we can chime in." Both Cinder and Onyx got Blake off of Adam. The another member of the Fang helped Adam to his feet. "So Adam who's she?" "Don't worry about her she's just a traitor." "Oh okay so are we all set for tonight?" "Yes of course." Blake was beyond furious. "That's it I'm out I don't care anymore. You can have him and all three inches." "SO YOU DID DO SEXUAL STUFF WITH HIM!" "Shit." Blake let it slip. "So Adam I guess the Taurus part in your name isn't in your penis." Adam was red beyond belief. Then the Fang soldier chimed in. "Hey Adam listen uhh I just remembered that I had plans so uhh... Good luck."

After that Blake finally left the warehouse. "So Adam what kind of sexual stuff did you do?" "Well we never did more than oral." "You don't say." "Yeah why do you ask Onyx?" "No reason just... REMNANT SECURITY SERVICE YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!" "Wait what?" Onyx pulled out a badge and a gun. Cinder was shocked at the surprise. WAS HE AN UNDERCOVER COP THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME!? THIS IS BULLSHIT HE KNOWS ABOUT OUR OPERATIONS AND EVERYTHING! Then several helicopters and squad cars stormed the building. Several armed men in riot armor came in through the windows and surrounded Adam. Cinder and the rest of the Fang readied there weapons until they realized that the police were more interested on Adam than them. Onyx handcuffed Adam and escorted him inside a squad car. Then one of the officers approached Onyx. "Some damn fine police work McClusky now we can imprison the bastard for a very long time. I guess you will be getting the corner office." "Thank you sir." McClusky? Cinder approached Onyx as the rest of the police left. "McClusky?" "Oh yeah I wanted a name that makes me sound like a veteran cop who's seen some shit you know?" "I guess." So maybe McClusky wasn't his real name.

"So wait you're not here to get us?" "Nope." "Aren't you a cop?" "I'm a crooked cop." "Ah... I see." Onyx waved back at Adam who was shouting, but could not be heard. "Took me three years to nail the bastard and I finally got him and the corner office." Then Onyx turned to Cinder. "So Cinder let's get Team RWBY and conquer Remnant yeah." "O...kay." What the hell is up with this guy? Is he evil or not?

Meanwhile with Adam

"So pretty boy what you in for?" Adam looked back at the man. "Giving and receiving oral from a minor." "You know what we do to child molesters here?" "What?" He turned to see the man unzip his pants and pull out his ten inch... Adam rushed to the bars, and outstretched his arms as if that would somehow help. "How about you put your mouth to good use pretty boy hmm?"

AN: So the yogurt reference was from Drake and Josh when Josh gets foot surgery. Also the bit with Blake and Velvet is a foreshadowing of things to come, but later I have three other chapters for this that I'am working on before I do that one.


	5. Chapter 5 AGH FUCK!

AN: I own nothing. On a totally unrelated side note this was a long time coming, and I'm sure that there are those who agree with me. This was supposed to be written later, but since Volume 4 comes out next week... FUCK IT. It's happening. You may disagree with me, and that's okay but let's be reasonable RWBY is beyond perfect and great, maybe a little under okay. So here I FUCKING go.

"What the FUCK is this shit?" Here we go again. Cinder just could not believe that Onyx was once again doing his bit. "What's the matter Onyx?" "It's shit." "All of it?" "All of it." "Please by all means explain it to me." "Hold on I'll be right back." Onyx left Cinder alone for a few seconds, then he brought everyone. And by everyone she means EVERYONE to their hideout. "How did you..." "Long story so here is how it's gonna work what I say goes." "Why?" "BECAUSE I FUCKING SAID SO THAT'S WHY!" Everyone was scared to see how Onyx would punish them. "Good now where to begin..." Cinder looked at him and everyone else. He was only gone for two seconds, and he managed to bring everyone here damn. To top it all off even Salem is afraid of him. Shit he is good. "Okay first off Ruby." "Yes?" "You suck as a character and you have no development whatsoever so we are going to change that and your team so that is where I'll start." "Okay?" "Good." Neptune then spoke up. "Why do we have to do this?" "Okay tell you what Neptune if you can answer this question I won't do it and I will let you all go how about that?" "Okay." "The rest of you can help him out too if it looks like he can't answer." Cinder saw that everyone had smiles on their faces, save for Neo of course. She knew better than to hope that they would get out of here. "Why is the moon destroyed?" Then everyone's smiles faded, instantly. That was a good question though. Why the hell was the damn moon destroyed? "Umm... Well you know because." "Because?" "Umm... Sun wanna help me out here?" "Dude I don't fucking know." "Oobleck?" "I don't know." "Ozpin, Salem, anyone?" "We don't know Onyx." "There it is, so from now on you guys have a complete moon."

Then Onyx grabbed Velvet and moved her to where Team RWBY was. Onyx then stood in front of them. "Okay so first and foremost Ruby, Weiss the both of you cannot get along under any circumstance." "Why?" "With both of you we are going to have word of law vs spirit of law." "Huh?" "Do the ends justify the means? And also what it means to be a huntsman in this society should they follow orders and sacrifice those in need, or screw the orders they are given and save them anyways." "Oh." "Also Weiss, you will have a deep hatred for the Faunus even more so than what is shown." "Okay." "But, we will also make you have a really deep connection with your mother, who died in a battle where the White Fang were involved and she died protecting you." Onyx then resumed. "Which means that Velvet will take Blake's place and join Team RWBY, which will become Team RWVY." (The letter V is sometimes enunciated as B so it shouldn't be all that different.) "Why?" "Well Blake you will be on Cinder's team and infiltrate Beacon at which point you and Velvet will have a tug of war on morals concerning how Faunus should obtain equal rights." "Oh." "Yeah, but you will also try to win her over to join you and vice versa." Then Onyx resumed. "But that's later for now... Weiss you will hate on Velvet. Velvet you will not under anyway retaliate because you know that it is just ignorance on her part and pity her for not seeing things clearly at which point it will be revealed that Adam killed your mom. And both you and Velvet will kill him after he kills Blake for betraying him and his ideals." "Wait why do I have to die?" "Oh well you see he is going to ask Salem to make his army stronger by combining Faunus and Grimm alike however, this will make some kind of bioweapon that will enable Adam to destroy entire cities at a time." "Oh."

"Anyways moving on. Now Ruby..." "Onyx wait why can't we keep the story as is?" "Because it's shit that's why also the characters haven't realized their full potential. You were all written as cliches first, characters second. Not to mention that you don't need the eight months time skip." "Of course we do." "Why?" "Well uhh... Oh so that we can grow stronger." Ruby felt victorious for the better part of two seconds until Onyx punched her in the face. "Ow what was that for?" "Because you don't get it do you? What did you do during those eight months?" "Get stronger what else?" "Ruby this is an anime all you need is a FUCKING change of clothes and already you are stronger besides in the eight months that you guys were dicking around you could have chased Cinder and beaten the shit out of Salem, but no you guys just dicked around so yeah." Then Onyx continued. "So anyways where was I oh yeah. Ruby you will have a definition of a huntsman, however time and time again that definition will be tested to very harsh extremes. However, and this is the most important one YOU CANNOT KILL SALEM!" "Why?" "Because you will try to save her from her fate. Choosing the most noble path rather than simply killing her like everybody else. So rather than doing this four maidens bullshit we will just say that she has all of them stored within her and she is trying to obtain the old man's power. Which will come from Ozpin."

"Uhh Onyx I disappeared remember?" Onyx pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'am surrounded by idiots. So Ozpin are you telling me that we found your cane, but not your body?" "I'll shut up now." "Thank you. Now where are you... Jaune there you are." "Aww crap." Onyx punched Jaune right in the face breaking his nose and knocking out several teeth. Pyrrha jumped in. Onyx feigned to punch her and she immediately backed away. "Jaune I honestly thought that I was watching a harem anime because of you." "Owg gwhy?" "Well you are a total loser and are surrounded by beautiful girls in a school to fight monsters. You have the adorable one, the broody loner type, the one that pretends to hate you but secretly likes you, the blonde ditz with big tits, the nutcase, and the one stuck in the friend zone. Not to mention that Ren is more skilled than you are, but gets his ass handed to him all the time, and he looks effeminate." All the girls were shocked and felt as if their entire existence was to fulfill some type of sexual desire, which let's face it isn't far from the truth. "Oh shit I almost forgot Yang. Yang listen you will still look for your mother, but for different reasons." "Oh?" "Yes you will try to find your mother and kill her because she killed Summer, whom you considered your real mother. Ruby will not know this until much later. She, Ruby that is, will face a real moral dilemma with this. Get revenge or let her live, but it will also put your sisterly bond through some serious shit." Onyx looked around the room. "Sun, Neptune... Well let's face it the only reason why you guys exist is so that Blake and Weiss can have a love interest so I'm going to change that."

Onyx resumed. "Sun you will try to change Blake's mind about who she is until you see her kill innocent people. Then you will confront Adam for turning her into a monster at which point he will kill you. Neptune you will help Weiss get over her hatred over the Faunus given that you and Sun are good friends. She will not approve of your friendship with Sun, but in the end she will overcome her hatred." Onyx then turned to Roman, Neo, Emerald, Mercury, and Cinder. "Honestly you guys need an overhaul, but not much and it is still manageable. Neo, Roman both of you will have a deep hatred for huntsmen. Neo you were abused by huntsmen, and Roman your entire family was killed by huntsmen. Emerald you will have severe abandonment issues which is why you are always with these people due to the fact that your parents were huntsmen, but never bothered to pay attention to you so you ran away from home. Mercury, your reason for joining Cinder was because of daddy issues and you didn't want to be a stripper so... I know that's not true, but your motive will be... To be an anti-huntsman-huntsman because your father was a huntsman and abused you." Onyx then turned to Cinder. "Cinder you will be laying seeds of doubt in everyone's heads about their abilities and motives to hold power over them. This will cause a conflict of morals and characters to add tension and drama."

Onyx then began looking at everyone else. "Ironwood?" "Yes?" "I'm downgrading your military as well as the military of all the kingdoms." "WHAT!? WHY?" "Dude have you seen all the stuff you guys have? I mean do you have any idea of the kind of technology you guys have that can kill the Grimm? Seriously man if these kids can kill Grimm, then why the hell haven't the kingdoms united to kill the Grimm in one fucking war campaign. It's ridiculous." Onyx had a point what was preventing them from uniting and killing the Grimm? "Not to mention that these kids are all seriously overpowered, so I'm sure you guys can handle them as well." Onyx then looked at the rest of them. "I think I'm missing something... Hmm... Oh yeah Oobleck you will ask Ruby her reasons for being a huntress. Also the silver eyes thing is getting scrapped because Ruby you are getting too overpowered not to mention that you don't grow as a person, only in strength and that is not enough. So when Ozpin tells you about the eyes it will be because he met your mother. Yeah this is better. Now get out there and do this version." "Onyx we can't." "Why not?" "Volume 4 comes out this week." "AGH FUCK!"

AN: This was going to be uploaded much later, but then I found out from Autistic Grizzly that it was going to come out this week. The harem part was a reference to a fic a read by Rumble in the Dumbles where Neo annoys the crap out of everyone. So yeah this is me ragging on RWBY, but if you've read the other chapters you would have seen the signs. The only characters that I feel are worth a damn are Neo, Velvet, Oobleck and... Well that's it all the rest kind of suck. I really feel like RWBY could have been the next Berserk, but it doesn't hold up especially since they want to do 10 volumes of this. RWBY would have been great if it's characters could show some depth, but it's dodgy and well shitty. I know people are gonna rag on me, but you have to think about this version as opposed to the original and which would have been better. So leave a comment and what not.


	6. Chapter 6 Great Bedside Manners

AN: I own nothing.

Cinder needed to get herself a new gynecologist. Preferably one that didn't try to hit on her every time she went there. There was also the fact that this other gynecologist would also joke about seeng her in such a compromising position. In short she incinerated the asshole so now she needed to find a new one. That was extremely difficult, especially since this was the tenth gynecologist this month. She headed back to the warehouse to see Salem speaking to Neo. Then Salem turned to look at Cinder. "Another one?" "Another one." Salem let out a sigh. "Just go to the one I tell you trust me." "Why if he is just gonna hit on me." "Trust me this one won't. Neo and I go to this guy specifically because of that." Cinder could always go to a female gynecologist, but... Well let's just say that she ain't about that lifestyle. No not really she... Well let's just say women can be cunts sometimes, and Cinder hates cunts. "Fine I guess I'll go, but later." "Suit yourself." Salem left Cinder and Neo alone. "So Neo what's the guy like?" Neo pulled out a sign. "He's great. Has good bedside manners, knows all the parts of the vagina you'll like him." "Right." Cinder was not completely convinced, but she would have to see for herself the next time she needed a check up.

Several Weeks Later

"Come back again." "I think both of you know I will." Both girls giggled. Cinder enjoyed visiting Junior's girls for the occasional three way twice a week... Or so she says. She spotted Onyx drinking at the bar. "What are you doing here?" "Waiting for you Salem says she needs us for something." "Did she say what?" "Nope." Well that was Salem for you. Always on a need to know basis. "Alright let's go then." They began to head back to their hideout. "So Cinder I won't be able to go to the briefing today." "Why?" "Some stuff I gotta do." "Cop work?" "Crooked cop work, and no this is something else." "Fine then." Cinder had walked the rest of the way by herself. She finally entered the warehouse. "So what did you need me for?" "Have you gone to the gynecologist yet?" "No... Was that all?" "No there is also something else that I need you to do." "Okay." "I need you to infiltrate the Atlesian arms factory for a manifest. My source tells me that they will be sending some chemical weapons somewhere we just don't know where." Cinder simply nodded and went to get Mercury, Emerald, Neo, and... Oh that's right Onyx is out. So it will probably be the four of us just like the good old days.

Cinder put on her cat suit? Her burglar suit? Her BDSM suit? You know the one she uses to infiltrate places... The one that looks like a Cat Woman cosplay outfit... Shit this is gonna kill me... Damnit she put on the black outfit... Wait is it a wet suit? Is that what it is? Or a scuba suit? You know what fuck it... The black outfit I'll stick with that. However, Cinder was getting a rash in a very intimate place. The more she scratched the more it itched. It got to the point that she began using her semblance to make the itch go away. She fought the urge really hard in front of everybody, and on the way there. Worst five hour flight of her life. Emerald looked at Cinder fidgeting. "Hey Cinder you alright?" She was being too obvious but they didn't know what was happening to her... Yet. "I just want the mission to be over with already and go back." Mercury then sneered. "Aw don't tell me you miss your boyfriend already." Cinder glared at him. "Ooh hit a nerve there majesty?" "No but you'll be hitting the floor once I push you out the airlock. Tell me Mercury how do you like the idea of a 50,000 foot drop?" "I can just use my air rounds to land safely." "You don't have enough ammo to make it that far." They were already making their final decent to the arms factory.

Onyx POV

"So here's your flashlight, stun gun, actual gun, handcuffs, and... Well that's it nothing ever happens here so I'm sure you'll do fine... Umm I'm sorry what was your name again?" "Oh it's Lloyd." "Lloyd?" "Yes... Lloyd." "Okay then." With that the guard left and Onyx aka Lloyd began his shift at the Atlesian Arms Factory guarding the control room. He went to the control room and saw a dark figure doing... Something... Deciding not to take any chances he used the stun gun immediately. Then the figure turned and he knew that he was never going to hear the end of it. "Agh fuck me." Then he heard footsteps coming in his direction. "Cinder do you have the... What the hell? Onyx what are..." "Look Emerald it's a long story just help me move her." "We came here to get the manifest." "The chemical weapons are on their way to Vacuo in an airship that will dock there at 9:45 p.m." "How do you..." "I'm the pilot... Of that shipment as well... So are we getting out of here?" Emerald was still processing all of that information. "Emerald..." "Uh yeah sure let's go." They both moved Cinder to the VTOL and were sent off except for... Lloyd.

Cinder POV

Cinder finally came to and saw the roof of her room. Which of course had Ewan McGregor in it. It was also signed. She saw Salem next to her. "What happened?" "That is what I would like to know... Seriously it feels like I walked inside..." "George Lucas's asshole and inside his asshole is Star Wars memorabilia?" "Yes." Salem seemed surprised that Cinder knew what she was gonna say. "What happened to me?" "It would seem that Onyx tased you right before you were about to hack the mainframe." "Huh why was Onyx..." "Well it would seem that it was his first day in the job and as luck would have it got a raise after he successfully protected the mainframe's data. No worries though he is also the pilot of said shipment and I already sent a team out there to obtain the weapons." Cinder thought about what Salem said for a moment. He's a cop, a security guard, a pilot, and he is on Salem's payroll just who the hell is this guy? "Salem who is Onyx?" "I don't know and I don't think that I want to know." Salem was afraid of Onyx? "Where did you find him?" "The answer might surprise you, but later for now you should go see the guy about that rash." "You saw it huh?" "Is it an STD?" "What no I mean I did have sex with Junior's girls before the mission so..." "Oh Cinder those girls are full of diseases." "Fine I'll go see the guy." "Good."

Cinder called and made an appointment to see the new gynecologist that Salem and Neo recommended. She waited her turn until finally the nurse told her to go in. "Okay if you will just change the doctor will be with you shortly." Cinder did as she was ordered and sat on the chair. She heard the door open and saw him. "So Miss Fall if you will just..." "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL ONYX!?" "What?" "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT!?" "Look just get on the chair and put your legs..." "Who are you?" "I'm Doctor Weaver now if you will please just get on the chair..." "I mean it who are you really?" "Do you really want to know?" "Yeah I do." Cinder waited for an answer until he hit her on the head with his clipboard. "Agh fuck what the hell?" "Just get in the chair." "Fine." Cinder finally did it. "Okay now I need you to..." "No." "Cinder..." "I don't think so." "Why?" "I work with you." "Yes and?" "What do you mean and? It's gonna be weird." "Why?" "Well it just is alright." "Cinder I do this for Salem and Neo also and I still work with them. Hell how do you think Salem hired me?" "This is where she met you?" "Yeah it was Halloween I came dressed as a vampire when she needed a check up." Okay so that's what Salem meant. "Fine." "Not to mention that I also check Glynda, Team RWBY, Raven, Coco, Velvet, Team NDGO, Pyrrha, Nora, Winter, Melanie, Militiades, and..." "Pretty much everyone?" "Yeah. Now let's see here..."

Neo was right great bedside manners, knows all the parts of the vagina, and he hasn't hit on her. "Well it looks like it might just be a rash probably an allergic reaction I'll know with the test results." "Okay." Cinder finally got out of the clinic and headed for the hideout. All the while she kept wondering who Onyx really was. And seriously where the hell does he find the time to do all this stuff? Come to think of it how much money does he make from all this? Cinder pushed those questions to the side. Maybe she didn't need to know. Then she got a call in her scroll. She checked to see that it was Doctor Weaver or Onyx. "Yes what is it?" "It's cancer." "WHAT!?" "Yeah I looked at the results and there's no denying it it's cancer." No fucking way can she get cancer. Wait does cancer even fucking exist? Nah sure why not? Salem looked at her. "What's wrong?" "Cancer." "Oof that's gotta hurt. Well good luck." Then she left. Soon Neo, Emerald, and Mercury gathered around her. Emerald was the first to speak. "What happened?" "Cancer." "Oof that's gotta..." "Not now Mercury." She put her scroll on the table. When suddenly it rang again. "Yes Onyx?" "Okay yeah I got yours confused with another patient that has the same last name it is an allergy so bye." She finally put her scroll down. She felt relieved that it wasn't cancer. "Okay he just called it wasn't cancer." "Alright go Cinder." Then the scroll went off again. She picked it up. "Yeah what is it?" "Turns out I was wrong the first time." "What do you mean the first time you told me it was allergies at your office." "No the first time which is agh never mind turns out you did have cancer." She just couldn't get a brake could she then it rang again. "What is it?" "Okay yeah its allergies not cancer never mind." She put the scroll down she just couldn't take it anymore then it rang again. Everyone looked at it waiting to see if she would answer. "Fuck it I'm going to bed."


	7. Chapter 7 Bitches get Stitches

AN: I own nothing.

"So apparently Salem wants you to join me on my little night raid because..." Roman looked at the teen that Salem had just recruited.

"She says you might need back up." Onyx replied.

Roman turned to Neo who just nodded. "Well then let's go get some dust."

Roman, Onyx, Neo, and some of Junior's guys all walked towards the nearest dust shop that was still open. As they walked in they saw the old man cleaning the top of the glass pane. They all aimed their weapons at him. "Clear, uncut, refined into the briefcase now." Said one of the henchmen.

"Oh yeah and I'll have a candy bar do you want something Neo?" Onyx asked as they started grabbing some of the dust crystals into the briefcase.

Neo pulled out a sign. "Ice cream."

"Uhh... We don't have ice cream." Said the old man nervously.

"Fine I'll take some damned cookies then." Neo took some of the packets and opened one up, and began eating one.

Onyx walked around the store until he came up to the magazine section. He noticed a girl with a red hood and some headphones reading a weapon magazine. He drew his pistol and neared the girl then he saw that she had a weapon of some sort a very large weapon. "Better not take any chances."

Onyx pulled the trigger and sure enough the girl's brains splattered all over the walls. Roman and Neo came to check the sound.

"Onyx what the hell was... Oh no." Roman said as he saw what Onyx just did.

"She was a huntress apparently who knows what would have happened had I not... What's with the look in your faces?" Onyx asked seeing how their faces were filled with shock and terror.

"Onyx you just killed Ruby one of the main characters." Roman explained.

Onyx just looked at the body. "Oops my bad."

"OOPS!? You kill the main character and all you can say is OOPS!?" Roman started shouting at Onyx.

"I did say my bad didn't I? Well here help me all we need is to put everything back into place Neo get some duct tape, Roman help me find the rest of her brains scattered all over the place." Onyx then crouched down and began picking up pieces of Ruby's brain and skull here and there.

"Onyx you can't just Weekend at Bernie's your way out of this one people here aren't stupid you know." Roman explained as he looked at Onyx placing pieces of Ruby's brain into a piece of skull.

"Well what do you want me to do Roman it's not like we can find some other person who is adorable, strong, and likes to eat junk food where are we gonna find someone like that?" Onyx asked nonchalantly.

Then Neo walked over and took put a strip of duct tape with her hand while she was still eating a cookie in her mouth. Then she noticed that both Roman and Onyx looked at her. She immediately pulled out a sign. "FUCK YOU THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL I'M TAKING HER SPOT!"

"Now Neo I know you have your reservations on this but... It would be... Progressive... Yeah that's it progressive." Onyx then put his arm around her and helped Neo visualize it. "Imagine it finally people with disabilities can finally have someone to relate to."

Neo then pulled out a sign. "What about Yang?"

"Fuck Yang besides you kicked her ass anyways. So what do you say are you in?" Onyx held her a bit closer this time hoping she'd bought his steaming pile of shit.

"Fine." Neo then finished her cookie.

"So what about the body?" Roman asked as he gathered the last pieces of her brain.

"Well we should probably finish up here. Neo pass me the duct tape Roman hold her... Head together while I patch her up." Roman then held Ruby's head as Onyx began to wrap the tape all around her head making sure that it would all stay together. "Okay now we steal her clothes, and dump her body in front of a hospital to make it look like mob hit or something."

So they all grabbed a car, well stole it actually, thankfully for them it had suicide doors so it would be easier to dump Ruby's body. Roman was driving the car, Neo rode shotgun, and Onyx was busy injecting Ruby's body with drugs and making tattoos on her body to make it look more believable.

Roman looked at Onyx through the rearview mirror. "What are you doing?"

"Bitches get stitches." Onyx said as he was carefully writing things on Ruby's body such as 'Live Fast Die Young,' 'No Regrets,' 'Only God Can Judge Me,' a few black tears and a tramp stamp.

Roman then looked at Neo who had a sign. "He's right Roman. Bitches get stitches."

"Well fine whatever let's go dump her body we're here already." Roman pulled over in front of the hospital, and urged Onyx to dump her body. Onyx opened the door and dumped her in front of the hospital as fast as he could. Then Roman drove as fast as he could from the scene.

Onyx then felt his scroll vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out and answered. "Hey yeah it's me what's up?... WHAT!?... Okay uh I'll be there. Guys I need to go to the hospital they need me."

"Why what happened?" Roman asked as he kept driving away.

"Apparently some mobsters killed a girl and dumped her body in front of the hospital they need me to prep her for surgery." Onyx explained.

Roman then immediately stopped the car forcing everyone to suddenly jump forward. "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!?"

"Well yeah dude so... Can I get a lift?" Onyx asked.

"Onyx that's Ruby they are talking about we are the mobsters." Roman explained.

"Roman we can't be sure of that besides what if it is other people. And we are not mobsters we are an organization hell bent on... Achieving... Something by a scorned woman... So can I get a lift?"

"Ugh fine I know I'm going to regret this." Roman then began driving back towards the hospital. Roman parked the car, and all three of them entered the hospital. Roman was on edge there was a good chance he would be recognized. He then noticed Onyx along with several other doctors in scrubs heading over to the surgery room.

"So what do we have?" Asked Dr. Alstair... Also known as Onyx.

"Another classic bitches get stitches case." Said one of the other doctors.

"Okay let's do this."

"Uhh... She's dead."

"What?" Asked Onyx.

"Well her brains were put back together using duct tape... Not to mention that she's lost most if not all of her blood. At this point she's a corpse."

"Not if I can help it prep her for surgery. I'll save her if it's the last thing I do. Besides I've lost too many patients at the table I won't lose another one."

"That's because you only treat corpses." Said one of the doctors as Onyx head into the room.

He grabbed the defibrillators and began charging them up. As he did he noticed Roman and Neo walk inside. "The hell are you guy's doing here?"

"Cops outside, couldn't chance it." Said Roman catching his breath.

"Well whatever... Clear." Then Ruby's body jolted up.

Onyx let out another sigh. "Clear." Ruby's body jolted up.

"Damnit c'mon... Roman set the voltage to the max just turn the knob."

"Onyx she's dead!"

"Just do it damnit."

Roman turned the knob to the highest possible settings. Then Onyx let out a few small breaths in quick succession. He placed the defibrillators on Ruby's body. "Clear."

Ruby's body jolted up... And finally a beep could be heard from the heart monitor. "She's alive!"

"Well yeah Roman all we did was just blow her brains out of course she was gonna survive. What you've never heard of plot armor before?" Said Onyx as he set down the defibrillators. "Well then looks like Neo won't have to take her place. Aren't you glad Neo?"

As soon as he said that the tape had clearly become useless due to all the blood that had been pouring out of Ruby's head, and it all just fell to the floor. The hear monitor flatlined again. Onyx looked to see if he could still bring her back, but... Well you can only do so much with duct tape.

"So I guess plan B it is. Well let's go back to Salem." Onyx removed his scrubs and changed back into his normal clothes.

They stole a different car this time, and drove back to their hideout. Roman watched as Onyx just remained silent the rest of the way. "You uhh... You doing okay back there buddy?"

"I just lost another patient at the table. This already makes it 3,476 patients. Well at least I still get paid so whatever."

"Didn't you kill this patient first?" Roman reminded Onyx.

"Oh yeah... I forgot."

They finally reached the hideout. Salem along with Cinder, Emerald, Mercury, and Adam were waiting by the entrance. Salem was the first to speak as she noticed Neo holding Ruby's things.

"So... What happened?" Salem asked.

"Bitches get stitches plain and simple." Said Onyx as he sat down and turned on the TV.

"In recent news a couple of mobsters dumped the body of a fifteen year old girl in front of the hospital this afternoon. The girl, who may or may not, have been a prostitute or a killer was treated at this hospital by Dr. Alstair who now has hit 3,477 dead patients in his entire career. More after this..." Onyx then turned off the TV.

"Oh that's right I forgot about the siamese twins... Well here's the plan we are going to make Neo look like Ruby that's why she has all her stuff so..."

"I got it." Said Salem in a monotone voice as she went up to her office.

Cinder was currently pinching the bridge of her nose. "You had one fucking job Onyx! One fucking job!"

Onyx let out a tired sigh. "Yeah yeah... Well look on the bright side... Of life."

"And what might that be?" Asked Cinder waiting to hear Onyx's response.

"At least now we have someone on the inside who can give us intel on the enemy... Also you won't have to wear your catsuit or whatever the fuck it's called anymore." Answered Onyx.

"That's it?"

"Well yeah that's basically..."

"I'm back." Said Salem as she came back with a small box.

"What's that?" Asked Onyx.

Salem began taking things out of the box and began to work on Neo. "Have you ever had aspirations Onyx? I did... A long time ago. I wanted to be a tax attorney, but no... My parents weren't having any of it. So I went to beauty school where I earned my PhD as a make up artist and did the make up of many celebrities, but again my parents were't having any of it. Then I became a huntress, and when that wasn't enough I became a maiden... Then I killed them... And now ha ha ha now I have to spend many sleepless nights studying for my exams, and reading 600 page cases and putting up with loud and horny teenagers so please by all means follow your aspirations. And by all means make sure you don't end up with some jackass who won't even give you the time of day or even look at you while the two of you have sex. Oh no I gave birth to those three bastard children of his, and what do I get a goddamn divorce after putting up with his and their shit for the majority of their lives I get shit. That's my prize. Well that should do it. What do you guy's think?"

Everyone stood there terrified, shocked, confused, and questioning their life decisions. Then they looked at Neo. The resemblance was striking you could not tell her apart from Ruby. "Well my plan worked... Aside form the horrible life story... But hey at least we still get a show... So yeah let's do this." Onyx said.

They all set themselves up as usual. Onyx and Cinder would be on board the VTOL to wait for Roman. "What if they hit the thrusters, wings, or the stabilizers and ignore you?" Asked Onyx as they waited patiently.

Cinder went wide eyed. "Fuck I did not think of that!" Cinder paused for a moment then took out her script. She began reading it to herself. "Yeah no they won't it says here that they both keep shooting at me, I win, and we fly away."

"Hmm you'd think with two on one they would divert your attention. One of them aims for the windows to incapacitate the pilot or something, maybe hit the thrust engines on the side to force us into a crash landing, maybe also hit the stabilizers on the tail to take away our maneuverability." Said Onyx thinking of the various ways they could die... Maybe.

They then got a message from Roman. "That's our cue."

Everything went down the same way... Sort of... Salem had to take Glynda's place... Yeah she basically caught Glynda in a dark alleyway and snapped her neck. She had managed to do some of the make up work before hand, but... Well those black markings weren't going anywhere.

"Glynda you uh... Look different." Ozpin said carefully looking for the words to describe his colleague.

"What you don't like it?" Replied Sa... Glynda Goodwitch... Yep that's it.

"No no no that I... Uh... It's... Well it's different that's all." Ozpin was careful not to piss off another woman. The last time he did it didn't pan out so well.

So everything stayed the same Ozpin couldn't see past Ne... Ruby's... Well Neo's silver contact lenses. Ozpin seemed rather surprised that Ruby couldn't speak. "Uh... Can you..."

Ne... Ruby pulled out a sign. "No I can't speak."

"Hmm... Progressive I like that... Well you are clearly overqualified... So welcome to Beacon Ms. Rose."

Meanwhile in Atlas

"So Winter I thought dad got full custody?" Asked Weiss concerned.

"He did... But you know dad... And she did put up with us so... Let's just get this over with." Said Winter as she grabbed her bags.

Salem stood at the front gate of the manor waiting for her three bastard children to come out. She hated those damn kids. One of them joined the military without her permission. The other one had so many daddy issues she could make strippers look sane, and the last one was just a sad sack of shit. Then there was the fact that none of them sent her anything for mother's day or her birthday... Now that's evil.

Weiss looked at her mother. "So... Mom..." She struggled to get those words out.

"Yeah sure whatever look your dad is clearly sending you three to me so that he can bang his faunus secretary for the weekend so here's how it's gonna work out. You kids do whatever the fuck it is that you do. Either go and do some black ops or in this case white ops shit. Go apply to the nearest strip joint. Or just be there for the fuck of it I don't care now get in the damn car. I have two mid terms tomorrow and I need to study for that shit." Said Salem as she looked down on them.

They all got on the car with Onyx driving, and Salem riding shotgun. "You see these black markings kids... That's what happens to you when you marry a sack of shit called Jacques Schnee have three kids with him, and he doesn't even let you dismount properly despite the fact that you let him cum inside of you. It's called growing old... Step on it Onyx."

Onyx just did a mock salute and stepped on the pedal.


	8. Chapter 8 Four

AN: I own nothing.

"Huh?"

"What is it?" Asked Cinder as she was reading the newspaper.

"It's just that there is a four here." Said Onyx as he was busy doing some... Math homework?

"Where'd you get that math homework?" Asked Cinder.

"What... Oh well you know how Beacon... Or any huntsman school doesn't necessarily teach this stuff so I thought I'd apply somewhere else... Anyways the answer to this question is four though... That's weird." Explained Onyx as he kept looking at the number four he had written down.

"Okay aside from the fact that Beacon has a terrible academics program... Why does the number four bother you so much?"

"Haven't you noticed Cinder?" Asked Onyx.

Cinder raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "Noticed what exactly?"

"This world's obsession with the number four or the concept of four."

"The hell are you..."

"Allow me to explain in full detail..." Onyx then pulled out some charts he had made in preparation for the occasion. "There are four maidens right?"

"Yes."

"There are four academies right?"

"Yes."

"And each of those four academies each houses a relic. For a total of FOUR relics right?"

"Yes..." Cinder said as the gears in her head started spinning.

"Each group of huntsmen is comprised of four people right?"

"Yes..." Cinder started to realize that Onyx was onto something.

"There are four kingdoms right?"

"Yes..." So maybe it's not something so idiotic.

"There are currently FOUR people in the Schnee household. Weiss, Winter, their brother, and the father."

"Okay?" Cinder saw the beginning of a conspiracy in the works.

"There are also four people in Ruby's household. There's Ruby, Yang, Qrow, and Taiyang."

"Uh huh... Wait what about Zwei?" Asked Cinder remembering that they had a small dog.

"Well with Qrow always out I guess you can count him in rather than Qrow."

"So you were saying?"

"Ruby and Yang which come from a household of four both have four letters in their name. On top of that Rose also has four letters. In Yang's case Xiao has four letters, and Long is also comprised of four letters. Not to mention Zwei also has four letters in it Cinder. Also Qrow now that I think about it. Oh crap Coco Adel! Her first and last name each have four letters. Nora has four letters. Port has four letters."

Cinder began to think how much her life revolved around the number four... Or rather the concept of four.

"Moving on... Beacon Academy has FOUR main teams. Teams CRDL, RWBY, CFVY, and JNPR. They also have FOUR teachers although one is mentioned in the Chibi series they are Port, Oobleck, Glynda, and Peach."

Cinder started going wide eyed. "Okay..." She was beginning to fear for her life.

"Salem's inner circle has FOUR people in it Cinder. That's you, Watts, Tyrian, and Hazel. Now Ozpin's is a weird case... It has Ozpin, Glynda, Ironwood, and Qrow. Although you could also make the case that Winter might be in on it too. In which case that would mean that without Ozpin it's Winter, Glynda, Ironwood, and Qrow." Explained Onyx as he pulled out another chart.

"Vale has four letters in it! Holy shit the characters in RWBY go through four different outfits. There is the main outfit. What they wore at the dance. The outfit that they wore when they fought Roman in the mech. And the new outfits they wear in this new... Volume four... Holy crap!"

Cinder stopped Onyx midway. "Okay what the hell are you trying to say Onyx?"

Onyx's eyes went wide. "HOLY SHIT CINDER MY NAME HAS FOUR LETTERS IN IT!"

"Onyx calm down! There is no conspiracy going on." Said Cinder as she tried to bring Onyx back from the brink of madness.

"No Cinder the people must... Dust also has FOUR letters in it holy shit! Adam's in on it too! His name has four letters. The whole world is in on this conspiracy Cinder. We must warn them now." Onyx then immediately took off.

Cinder shook her head in disappointment. "Well he's gone might as well watch some tv and forget this whole thing." She turned on the tv and went to Channel... 4 News... Huh... There's the four again. Cinder just chalked it up as coincidence. As the news lady Lisa Lavender... Who just so happened to have four letters in her first name... "It's just you Cinder calm down."

"Hello everyone my name's..."

Lisa was then interrupted when Onyx threw her to the side and with a look of panic, horror, and shock in his face. "People of Remnant we have been deceived by the highest levels of our government. For ages the number four has..." Suddenly FOUR men in dark suits came in and tried to take him away. "Agh get off of me the people must know... Ack." Then the image of technical difficulties displayed itself on the screen.

Cinder shook her head. "Crazy bastard..." She turned to see Emerald, Mercury, and Neo coming over to her.

"Hey Cinder what's up?" Asked Emerald.

"Nothing much... Just reading... And questioning my sole existence." Cinder said as she realized that her last name Fall had... Four... Letters... In it... Huh?

"Uh... Okay wanna hang out. It'll be like the good old days just the four of us without Onyx." Said Emerald.

"Sure... Why not? Just the... Four of us sounds nice." Cinder tried to move on from the whole... Four situation.

"Okay where to?" Asked Emerald.

"Hmm I'm really hungry right now..."

"Well it will have to wait I need the four of you right now for a mission." Said Salem interrupting Cinder.

"Okay what's the..."

"Rescue Onyx."

"Of course." Said Cinder.

The rescue plan went off without a hitch. Sort of... Onyx was actually able to save himself. And he wound up having to save them too.

"Onyx once you are done cleaning yourself up I need to speak with you... Alone."

Everyone else looked at him. "She's going to kill you. You know." Said Cinder as she stood beside Onyx.

"Oh I don't think she's gonna do that."

"Why not?" Asked Cinder as she quirked a brow.

"Call it a hunch." Then he headed to Salem's office. "So what's up?"

Salem then looked at Onyx as he entered. "Tell me Onyx... What's your favorite fairy tale?"

Meanwhile in Vale

Ozpin looked at his school from the tower. He pulled out his scroll and dialed.

"Yes what is it?"

"That child knows." Said Ozpin.

"Hmm I leave him in your capable hands."

"Understood." Ozpin ended the call and sipped some coffee.

Omake

"Do you know what this means Cinder?" Asked Onyx.

"What does it mean?"

"HALF LIFE 4 CONFIRMED!" Said Onyx excitedly. "It's confirmed!"


End file.
